Before anything else, I want to share with you the hardest part of my trip this past year. You might have guessed it, getting over a break up while adventure traveling. When I moved out of my ex’s apartment last year after breaking up, I knew I was doing the right thing.
I packed what I had and put some of it in storage & the rest in my mom’s garage. It was hard, but it was the only thing I could do after everything we had gone through in the few months leading up to this point.
The Beginning
My ex and I met in high school
During our senior year and we became really good friends right away. Even though I moved away for college he was always there when I needed him. He always gave me the best dating advice even if I didn’t always take it. To make the story short he became my best friend. They asked me to go for adventure travel.
The Middle
We always seemed to have a strong attraction towards each other, but because of the distance and mostly, because we didn’t want to ruin our friendship, we avoided going any further. Finally, everything fell into place, we moved into the same town at the same time and we started dating. We got serious and well it was so nice to finally be together.
The End
Unfortunately, it did not last long. I don’t want to go into details, but let’s just say that it was not a smooth break up. I was fortunate to travel to Mexico merely two days after our break up, which I thought would distract me from all the pain I was feeling.
It worked for about a week. Then it hit me. I had lost my boyfriend and my best friend all at once, forever. Given the reasons behind our break up, our once beautiful friendship would never be the same. It was all f&%ked up.
Mixed Emotions
My emotions were all over the place. I was so angry for allowing others to get between us in this way and not knowing how to handle situations to keep our problems from escalating. I was hurt because he allowed others to take him away from me, his best friend of so many years. I felt so betrayed for the way our relationship finally ended.
When I finally arrived in Oaxaca to celebrate Day of the Dead, I was just sad. I tried to pick up the pieces the best I could and move on with my trip, but it was just so hard. How could I enjoy myself completely when inside I was so hurt? How could I smile when my heart had just been broken? How could I admire all the beauty around me when a really important part of my world had just crumbled?
I wrote this poem during that tough time.
It’s hard to travel with a broken heart
Some might think
Why?
You meet so many more people!
Yes, but they are gone as quickly as they appeared
When people know you are on the move
They are friendly and nice
But they keep you at a safe distance
They don’t want to get too attached
To a traveler just passing by
It’s hard to travel with a broken heart
Yes there are tons of happy moments
To distract you from the pain
And the new memories created are incredible
Yet they are fleeting and nomadic
Like taking only one bite from your favorite cake
It’s hard to travel with a broken heart
Yet we all do it sometimes
To escape the pain
To slowly heal
So we can do it all over again
Closure
Luckily, my awesome friend Shawn came to the rescue. Yes, I cried on his shoulder many times. Shawn and his girlfriend Kiki listened to my sorrows. They and new friends entertained me during my stay in Oaxaca and slowly but surely my smile returned.
I spent 2 whole months in Oaxaca healing my broken heart. During my stay, I managed to have closure with my ex by telling him exactly how much he had hurt me. Even if he still did not get it, that wasn’t important anymore. I felt better letting him know how I felt.
Moving On
When I was finally ready, it was really hard to say goodbye to everyone who even without their knowledge had helped to bring my smile back, but I had to move on. By the time I left Oaxaca, I was at peace with myself and 100% sure I could continue with my trip and be ok. I will be forever thankful to all those who with their friends helped me heal and feel stronger than ever. GRACIAS!!
